Prioritize your relationship
Being more accessible to your spouse is a cornerstone of a healthy, fulfilling relationship, but busy schedules and multiple responsibilities can block our way. Before we start another school year, let’s take a moment and look at this important life priority.
Accessibility means being emotionally available, present, and responsive to your partner's needs. It's the first step to creating a secure bond where both partners feel valued, understood, and connected. Here's how you can be more accessible and why it matters.
First, to be accessible, prioritize quality time together. In our fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in daily routines and forget to nurture the relationship. As we start another school year, take time to calendar this time daily, weekly, and monthly with your spouse.
Set aside uninterrupted time for your spouse. Engage in activities that you both enjoy, whether it's a walk in the park, a dinner date, or simply talking about your day. This dedicated time fosters a deeper connection and shows your partner that they are important to you.
Second, practice listening with the intent to understand. When your spouse is speaking, give them your full attention. Put away distractions like phones or laptops and focus on what they are saying. Nod, maintain eye contact, and provide feedback to show that you are engaged. This not only helps you understand their feelings and thoughts better but also reassures them that they are being heard and valued.
Third, be emotionally available. Share your feelings with emotion words (like happy, sad, sacred, angry, admired, shamed, surprised, stressed). Openly encourage your spouse to do the same.
Vulnerability can be challenging, but it is crucial for building trust and intimacy. When you express your emotions, it creates a safe space for your partner to do the same. This emotional exchange strengthens the bond between you and fosters a sense of security in the relationship.
Additionally, be responsive to your partner's needs. If your spouse is upset or stressed, gently point out the observation. “You seem upset” Then ask what you they want. “How can I help you right now?”
Sometimes, just being there and listening can make a significant difference. Show empathy and understanding, and avoid dismissing their feelings. Responding to your partner’s emotional cues with care and concern reinforces the idea that you are a reliable source of support.
The importance of being accessible to your spouse cannot be overstated. When you are accessible, you take a step to create a secure attachment bond, which is the foundation of a healthy relationship. This bond fosters trust, reduces conflicts, and enhances emotional intimacy. It also promotes resilience, allowing both partners to navigate life's challenges together with greater ease and confidence.
